I went to bed very late last night, and got up very late in the afternoon�neglecting my own resolutions. I didn't feel too bad, though.
I got on MSN Messenger, where Enrique asked me to come to Krajicek because there were going to be a lot of guys playing 'ball later.
I had some breakfast, some coffee, packed my bags, and walked to Krajicek. I was somewhat surprised that I found it right away since I haven't been there for a while and I think it was the first time I went by foot. When I arrived, there were only a couple of guys, all of which I knew.
We played some three-on-three during which we did nothing but act silly. (Though our shots were dropping and we made some pretty sick moves.) At this time, I was still feeling alright.
Soon, a lot of people arrived, and we made teams to play some serious full-court.
Although these are usually pretty fun guys to play with, I somehow was feeling irritated, was lacking energy, and couldn't find the focus and intensity. Some people�some that know me well, but also one I don't think I've ever met before�started asking questions on how I was doing, sounding somewhat concerned.
At first, I didn't think anything was wrong, but the longer I played; the more I was getting annoyed, distracted, and fatigued. When my sight started to deteriorate (not as much as blur, but yet with difficulty to focus�hard to explain, really) I really started to question what the fuck was wrong. I concluded that�dispite the fact I've been doing much better lately�I was depressed.
It wasn't obvious to me at first because there was no anxiety, but I started to recognize that state-of-mind
that I'm also in during those periods during which I experience anxiety a lot (in other words; I didn't have an anxiety attack, but I could have�the foundation was there). I then realized I was feeling sad, down, and agitated for no apparent reason.
I didn't play any more games, but sat at the side of the court, watching the other guys play. When the sun had set, everybody went home, but I went to check out Tram 2 Court in order to shoot some hoops. When I arrived at the scene there were only a bunch of guys playing soccer, so I decided to head home, too.
At home, my mom also asked how I was doing. I said I was doing alright, but various little things in the following couple of hours triggered her to repeat that question as the initial answer was no longer satisfactory. I explained to her (and myself) I was just having an off-day, and that it's not the initiation of a trend—I'm still doing better: It's just a reminder I should keep respecting a healthy bio-rythm.
Back on MSN Messenger, I talked to Enrique again. He said it was weird seeing me play today: he said I didn't look like myself when I was playing. Wow, that's exactly how it felt.
I'm gonna hit the sack a bit earlier, get up a lot earlier, and play some good basketball again today (like the day before: that wasn't so bad).
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