Weblog entries posted on this day.
Yesterday was my last from a series of intake meetings with doctor Sibie at the psycho-medic centrum, Parnassia. The day before, I had taken a survey with 90 questions about the complaints I had been experiencing over the past week. They had to be answered with a number ranging from one to five: one being not at all
, and five being very much.
I recognized myself in most of them. My conversation with the doctor was about the survey at first, and then about the outcome of her discussion about my case with the psychiatrist. She said they don't see a clear case of manic depression (so far), but I'm going to have a meeting with the psychiatrist personally next week to make sure. Meanwhile, they direct me to another department where I will be treated for the anxiety attacks and nervosity in general.
The conversation felt very positive, and I felt pretty good when I left (even though I hadn't slept all night). I'm also pleased with the outcome, though I think there's more to it than the anxiety alone. I'm convinced there's some form of depression that causes this to begin with — I will discuss this matter with the psychiatrist next week.
Before I went home, I decided to go into town and shop for some new basketball gear. I got a really nice Champion set — black, with white and gold details at USA Sportstore (and got a five euro discount). I went home, and changed to my new outfit right away to play some b-ball outside.
I played together with Enrique. It were doing pretty well, and the weather was very good... too good maybe, because we all out jumping in this heath, we got tired very fast. Enrique said he would attend a training at Locomotief, Rijswijk later, and invited me to join. I said I'd think about it and we went home.
When I got home, I found out two things: my mom was gone, and I forgot my keys. D'oh! I called my uncle Peter and asked him if he was willing to bring the spare keys. Luckaly, he said he would be there in half an hour so. I decided to use this time to go back to USA Sportstore and get some new indoor basketball shoes (mainly because of the possibility that I'd be playing at a professional club later that day).
I saw some really nice ones — black with gold — that would look great with my new outfit, but they didn't have my size... too bad, really. When I looked at the rest of their assortment, I suddenly realized that one of the shoes looked a lot like the shoe from my dream a few days ago. Like the shoe from my dream, it was black with orange/copper. I figured it was meant to be (and I also liked the shoe), and decided to get it. At first it seemed they didn't have this shoe in my size either (they only had 42 and 45, and I usually have 43, European, and the 42 was way too small), but it appeared they came out really small, and I actually fit the 45. This time, I didn't get a discount, but a FUBU basketball for free.
I went back home, and after three quarters of an hour, my uncle arrived with the keys. I went in, ate some, checked my messages, and only a couple of hours later — tops — I was on the playground again, with Enrique, Brian, Mikey, and some kids. Somehow we seemed unable to play serious, which made it stupid and boring. We decided to stop trying, and enjoy the sun — that worked out a lot better. After some time, most people went home, and Mikey and I played some more, and then hung around watching soccer players that had arrived do their thing.
Several hours later, Enrique came back, dressed to go to Locomotief. He wanted me to join, and so did I, but I figured that wouldn't be a wise thing for me to do since I had been on my feet for two days straight, and already spent alot of energy. I decided to stay on Bakkersplein a little, which — of course — turned out to be several hours, but at least I could take it easy there, and I did.
When I finally got home, I went went to bed very early (to my standards), and woke up about eight hours later, but decided to stay in bed — I immediately fell asleep again. I woke up three or four times before I finally got out around 3:30 P.M. I didn't feel too good throughout the day — I felt weak and somewhat anxious. Enrique asked me to join him to some basketball thing in Rotterdam, but I said no. I heared he played against 'Chip' Jones at The Hague Central Station court later — that would have been fun to watch. Oh well, later in the day — when I was feeling a bit better — I had some fun on Bakkersplein myself. (I almost got into a fight, but that's ok because I would have won.)
So, yeah, that is what my life is about lately: basketball and my emotional health.
Tomorrow, I'm going to meet up with my dad, who I haven't seen or heared of for a couple of weeks (it appears he has been suffering from depression again, also — it's a family tradition). Loesje is throwing a party later at night, but I let her know about my situation and that it's not very likely I'll be there.
This day, elsewhere.
